I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
