Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
