My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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