Are we in a gay sports bar?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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