and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize