he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
