So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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