Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize