i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
