I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
