I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
