distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
