like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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