Sponge bath it is.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
