I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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