you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
