How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
