No awkward lesbian experiences without me
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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