i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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