I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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