yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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