Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
