I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
