Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
