Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Randomize
