And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
