oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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