and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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