Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize