nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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