Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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