Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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