wanna go halves on a baby?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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