Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
