You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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