There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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