fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
