she kept yelling 'call me bella'
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
