Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
