the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
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