I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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