Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize