i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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