Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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