i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
