butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
