I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
