How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize