who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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