I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
