i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
