Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
