i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize