But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
