Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
