I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
