new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
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