The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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