yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I think your dad took our porno
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
