i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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